Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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