He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
