I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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