I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
