Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
