And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
