I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
