so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
