So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize