I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
