Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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