Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
