New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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