I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize