am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
