Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He better not be in your backpack
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
