Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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