im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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