He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
