and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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