did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
