The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
