don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize