just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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