well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
