I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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