i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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