I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I believe in your delicious
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
