dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
