Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
