alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
