Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
