how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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