He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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