What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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