She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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