i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just invented taco cereal.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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