i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
