You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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