hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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