im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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