there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
