I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
