i think i have two assholes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
