I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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