So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
