So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
3pm strippers are depressing
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
