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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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