Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
A bitchslap is in order.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
