Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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