I'm jealous of your bromance
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
