i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
