is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
