addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
