I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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