I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
