Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
