I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize