it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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