His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize