Sry I called you an 8
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
