i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize