My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My pussy is not your playground.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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